ULUWATU

Tour guides would label the Hindu Temple at Uluwatu, located at the southern most point of the island of Bali, as a 'must'. We are to see the unique sunset, the mystery of the age old temple, the ceremonial dances and of course the colony of not quite wild but certainly not domesticated monkeys ... the indigenous inhabitants. It took a while to get to as everyone wanted a picture against the legendary sunset and traffic was worse than a rainy day in Central. Not surprisingly, there was almost zero interest in the temple which was singularly unimpressive by temple standards, so were the dances. Literally hundreds were there just for the sunset, and to be hazed by the damn monkeys. These cheeky animals took great pleasure in stealing hats, bags and spectacles from everyone. I had my cap taken, Dora had both her hat & shades taken and chewed on, which infuriated her.

Granted it is a glorious sunset but it is also an extremely risky move as there is a 500+ feet cliff right behind the spot where most want pictures taken. The surging crowd, the frolicking monkeys, the scared kids running away from the primates ... are only a few feet away from those posing, and the perilous drop behind them. I can close my eyes and imagine that disastrous scene of tourists falling off as in the Pied Piper.  There are no guard rails, not even solid footpaths, just lose pebbles on dirt.

I caught one of these demigods on top of a pillar, with the last glimpse of the sun ... it was good enough for me.

Back at home I took Dora's name brand shades to the spectacle shop and the young man asked nonchalantly ; 'Were you in Bali?' 'How did you know?' 'The monkeys did this, right, you are the third customer here after Xmas ...'

Lonely Planet can sing Uluwatu's praises all they want but let me tell you, it is not worth it. If you insist, do not bother with buying entrance tickets because you only need them for the dances, which not everyone goes. The sunset pictures and harassment by the monkeys are free, so is the hilarity of watching hats, glasses and bags come off fellow tourists ... until your turn, as no one is spared. SPCA should send inspectors here, to protect the homo sapiens. Try somewhere else, trust me.