THE MORNING AFTER

I had the most slumbering sleep last night, a full 8-hours non stop beleive it or not, which I have not been able to do since I started LCB. I cannot explain my sleep pattern, its probably a mix between excitement at the initial weeks, to anxiety at the last. I am in Roseville now staying with Julie & Russ, and Dora will arrive in a few hours to spend a week of culinary adventure. We have booked 4th Village in Mosman, Tetsuya here in Sydney, Vue de Monde in Melbourne and a few more in bewteen, speaking of indulgence. Today is the first day I wear neither my uniform nor my LCB name tag, yes, there is no doubt a bit of emptiness.

If you ask me how I feel 'the mornng after' I would offer the following. I have lived my dream but I am also awaken from this romantic idea that perhaps I can become a chef. Wrong ... Tang might be able to cook, but Tang can never be a chef. When I read the LCB brochure for the first time the idea of a 'Grand Diploma' sounds intriguing. I enrolled in both Cuisine & Patisserie so I can take a first hand look at what it involves. It really did not take 10-weeks for me to conclude that I do not have what it takes to earn the title of a chef. Passion and energy I am at over-drive but I lack talent, the definitive difference between a chef and a cook. I am the latter, at best.

Professor Edmund Ko, a fellow Council Member at the HKCAAVQ, introduced me to the term 'Fit for Purpose' which applies perfectly to my situation. While my young classmates all aspire to join the industry in one fashion or another, that is not my purpose. I wanted the LCB experience so I can enjoy cooking and my kitchen more. At Chez Tang I can, literally and figuratively, wear the toques of the Executive Chef, Chef de Cuisine, Sous Chef & Patissier all at once and that is what I should do. I plan a small tasting menu, I do mise en place, I match the wines, I set up the table, I put on a chef uniform, I play the relevant mood music .... I 'pretend' I am a chef .... and I languish in the 'wows & oohs & aahs' from my friends. Why do you think people call this 'entertaining at home'? It is precisely what it is, entertainment, which is miles apart from what transpired in my life this past 10-weeks. I am old enough to know who I am, and what I want but most importantly, I am now at peace with myself which explains why I slept like a baby last night.